Can’t stop my heart
It beat beat beats for you and I can’t stop it even if it scares me. Its blessedly uncomplicated and even so I’m looking for complications because that’s what I do, because I’m not content without a little drama, apparently. She can’t compete with me and we’re not even running the same race, so why do I keep comparing what we have to what they have? Why do I keep wondering if she makes him happy the way I make you happy? Or if she makes him happier?
Kobe, they’re engaged now and I think it’s youthful enthusiasm and I think it’s doomed and I think that you and I will outlast that whether you put a ring on my finger or not, but… they’re engaged now, and we’re not, and I can’t stop looking over my shoulder at them and wondering in what light you see me, and if that light is different than the light he sees her in.
We live vicariously through our children sometimes. It’s easy to deny our own wants and needs when those wants and needs are fulfilled for our children. But I don’t want to settle for less, just because my children do have what I desire. I want it too. I want it all. I don’t even know what I want, except for my heart to keep beating for you and for yours to beat for me, whether you put a ring on my finger or not.
And I want to stop feeling like you’re settling for one thing because your children have the other.
